Christmas in Sumatra:

Apes have paper hats,

Smearing brandy butter

On a sacrificial cat.

Tiger’s licking envelopes,

Addressing to his Nan,

Tapir’s wrapped,

Gold-paper trapped:

Struggling in the sand.


They sit down to their noon repast

Suddenly: a shotgun blast!

Santa dressed in khaki coat

Buckshot-blasts Bear’s arse.

Leopard pulls his hunting knife

Vanishes in trees.

Santa range-finds ‘rangutan;

Trigger softly squeezed:


He parts the Ape & face,

It floats off in the breeze.

Leaping from the undergrowth:

Leopard shivs his knees.


Suddenly the cops appear,

Handcuffing the big cat,

“Santa’s more endangered lad,

You’re really in the shat.”

~ Leland Velociraptor, 2013

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